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PATIENCE AND ITS IMPORTANCE


To say patience is a virtue is an understatement. It’s really more of a skill—one that can be learned and needs constant nurturing.
Patience is the state of being that occurs between experience and reaction. Whether you’re trying to be patient with yourself, others, or life, it seems to always involve the experience of dealing with delays or obstacles.
By cultivating a practice of patience, you’re able to let go of things outside your control and live with less stress, anxiety, and frustration.
It’s not an easy practice, but here are a few reasons why you should take it serious :

Patience transforms relationships

Sometimes, in our relationships, we become defensive, irritated, and say something to hurt others. We do not realize the importance of patience and end up making hasty decisions. Whenever you feel defensive against the person, try to be patient enough to take time to think over another person’s positive qualities.

Patience helps acquire positive attitude

If things are not going the way you want them to, instead of getting frustrated,  you must learn to be patient. You need to see things and situations in a positive light to make your life happier. And to get that positivity, you need to be patient.
If you find any life situation challenging, or find it difficult to bear, try to re-frame that situation and try to see its positive side.

Patience makes you healthier

Anger and stress are two things that are enough to ruin a person’s health. And patience is the antidote to both these illnesses. Being patient, you can overcome any challenging situation with more flexibility and in a better way. Being stress-free and happy helps you stay healthier.
You can be patient if you have clear knowledge about your goal and if you are putting the desired effort in the right direction. There are many ways to achieve anything. The trick is to stick to your own plan when others around you seem to be getting ahead much faster than you. Yes, they may be enjoying more success than you, but you know nothing about where they are ultimately headed.
Patience is an important tool in overcoming frustration. Patience allows us to suspend judgment long enough to make informed decisions, thus paving the path to a happy and peaceful life.

WHY MOST PEOPLE NEVER SUCCEED


Success is relative and defined by our individual goals and accomplishments. Not by comparing ourselves to others or by what others think success is for us. When you look at people who you believe are successful, what do they do and have in common? When you look at your own successes, what are the things you did to accomplish those successes?

Success forms patterns and usually follows a set of defined principles and behaviors. When we get outside these behaviors and principles and start seeing the wrong outcome or things going in the wrong direction, this is when we need to pause. We need to step back and evaluate our success fundamentals.
Many of the most accomplished people including Stephen King and Abraham Lincoln  all experienced challenges early on, but they didn't give up. They stayed focused on their goals and persevered because they believed in themselves. They all had their own success processes and consistently worked and tweaked them as they needed to along the way. They still do, because successful people are always refining.

Well here i listed a few reasons why i think most people never succeed :

1. They don’t understand the value of time.


Unsuccessful people don’t value their time. They are everywhere, anywhere, anytime because they lack the ability to dedicate their time towards their goals. And year after year they make new promises which never come to fruition simply because they couldn't be bothered to put in the time required towards their goals. Time management skills, learning how to say no and knowing what commitments to undertake, is a step towards great success in any area of our lives.


2. They don’t do things that are in alignment with their goals


The more important a goal is, the higher it will be on your hierarchy of values and the more discipline and order you will have associated with it. The less important a goal is, the lower it will be on your hierarchy of values and the less discipline and more disorder you’ll have associated with it. Unsuccessful people have mistaken busyness with productivity. They are a part of everything but nothing which they do is in alignment to their values and their goals. Writing down in a journal what your gaols are and implementing strategies which can get you there will help you identify things that are not on par with where you are going.



3. They have self-imposed limitations


Unsuccessful people tend to say things like “I’m just not good with numbers”, “I just really hate studying”, and “I just don’t think I can run a successful business”. They put limits on themselves and excuse their behaviour but it’s really just a way of underachieving and aiming low enough to not miss. Get rid of the idea that you only have a specific set of skills and talents for specific tasks, stop thinking that you’re not as intelligent as the next person. What life requires of you is to make the most of yourself, for yourself, and for others.




4. They are good at making excuses



These are the people who will find reasons and logic as to why they can’t and why they shouldn't. They sometimes mistake this abhorrent tendency for “just being realistic”. They lack imagination and always find ways to justify why something shouldn't be but they never really try. The best remedy for this is to stop your mind when it’s about to start making the excuses and re-ignite the engine that has started it all.



5. They don’t’ take action


“Do something today, your future self will thank you for” – Les Brown
The simplicity of this rule of life may be why they disregard the magnitude of its effects. Unsuccessful people tend to ponder and leave footprints in the sands of time. They can talk a great game and they dream really big but they lack the courage to just go forth. Stop dreaming about what will be, dreams in themselves are not bad but get up, show up and DO something. Stop with the coffee shop meetings and go do something.


The people who are out there making things happen are not as extraordinary as we make them ought to be. They’re pretty plain and most of  the time after a second glance they’re not all that exceptional in any way but they've managed to get to where they are and stay there because they mastered the art of discipline and being the right person at the right time. Maybe you have so many things you want to complete and sometimes you feel so overwhelmed because, there’s just not enough time. Put the cell phone down, log off once in a while and stop minding everybody’s business and you’ll be amazed at the potential you’ll unlock.


BENEFITS OF READING





When was the last time you read a book?

 If you're one of countless people who don't make a habit of reading regularly, you might be missing out: reading has a significant number of benefits, and just a few benefits of reading are listed below.

1. Stress Reduction

No matter how much stress you have at work, in your personal relationships, or countless other issues faced in daily life, it all just slips away when you lose yourself in a great story. A well-written novel can transport you to other realms, while an engaging article will distract you and keep you in the present moment, letting tensions drain away and allowing you to relax.

2. Knowledge

Everything you read fills your head with new bits of information, and you never know when it might come in handy. The more knowledge you have, the better-equipped you are to tackle any challenge you'll ever face.

Additionally, here's a bit of food for thought: should you ever find yourself in dire circumstances, remember that although you might lose everything else—your job, your possessions, your money, even your health—knowledge can never be taken from you.

3. Vocabulary Expansion


This goes with the above topic: the more you read, the more words you gain exposure to, and they'll inevitably make their way into your everyday vocabulary. Being articulate and well-spoken is of great help in any profession, and knowing that you can speak to higher-ups with self-confidence can be an enormous boost to your self-esteem. It could even aid in your career, as those who are well-read, well-spoken, and knowledgeable on a variety of topics tend to get promotions more quickly (and more often) than those with smaller vocabularies.

4. Better Writing Skills

This goes hand-in-hand with the expansion of your vocabulary: exposure to published, well-written work has a noted effect on one's own writing, as observing the cadence, fluidity, and writing styles of other authors will invariably influence your own work. In the same way that musicians influence one another, and painters use techniques established by previous masters, so do writers learn how to craft prose by reading the works of others.

 There's something out there to capture your curiosity and imagination. Step away from your phone for a little while, crack open a book, and replenish your soul.


BUILDING A POSITIVE SELF ESTEEM


Self-esteem refers to the opinion you have for your own self. If you feel you’re competent and kind, good looking, or capable of doing things, this is a sign that you have high self-esteem.

But, if you have negative opinions about yourself and feel that you cannot do your tasks like others do or do not look good, you have low self-esteem. Sometimes, low self-esteem becomes the cause of anxiety and depression.

Therefore, self-esteem refers to how you think about your own self, how worthy you think you are and how much importance you give to yourself. It’s not about bragging about yourself, but knowing that you can do your best, even if you’re not perfect.

The Importance of Self-Esteem

It’s unfortunate that only a few people know the important role that self-esteem plays in their lives. The success that you have in your career depends on the effort that you invest in it. Also, the amount of effort that you invest depends on the level of trust that you have in yourself for successfully achieving your goals. Simply, if you do not believe in yourself that you will succeed, you never will. Besides, it’s next to impossible to get better business opportunities or career promotion if you lack self-esteem.

Low self esteem is often the main reason for disappointments in relationships. People with poor self-worth often experience difficulty in getting along with their partners, it as well as affects their sex life. People with negative images about their selves often feel distrust, jealousy, and problems with intimacy. Some indications of poor self-esteem include the following:

•    Feeling of extreme jealousy 

•    Loss of decision making abilities 

•    Feeling of not being respected and cherished by their loved ones 

•    Developing a sense of dependence on others even on simple things 

•    Always feel pressured while doing tasks 

•    Display of excessive anger over simple misunderstandings 

•    Too much worry 

•    Frustration 

•    Feeling helpless 

•    Poor performance at school or the workplace 

It’s extremely difficult to experience the joy of life if you have negative thoughts about yourself. If you always feel negative and have low self-esteem, you’ll never realize your success potentials and you’ll never feel happy in life. Even if things around you are perfect, you’ll never have the chance to enjoy them if you always have negative ideas about your own self.

How Self-Esteem Can Change the Life of a Person

A person with high self-esteem sees everything in a positive view and always feels confident and enjoys life. Even if hardships and difficulties come his way, he sees it challenges and never backs down. If you have high self-esteem, you’ll feel confident.

You will not allow other people to treat you in the wrong way or take advantage on you. All people experience ups and downs at some point of their life and it is ok. However, this doesn’t mean that you should back down and have low self-esteem. If you always have the feeling of not being worthy of something, you’ll never have the courage to try new things and succeed in life.

If you feel that you have low self-esteem, you do not need to worry too much as there are ways you can get rid of it and build self-confidence. Jot down the things that make you feel good about yourself, the things that you have done, and the compliments that others have given to you and this will make you feel good about yourself. If you’re an office person, stick notes to your computer or desk “I’m doing well” or “I can do it”.

These messages will be absorbed by your mind. Everyone is gifted with the power to do great things. Everyone is worthy and see to it that you keep these things in mind. Soon, you’ll feel confident and happy.

THE TOUCH OF LOVE (PART 4)











THE TOUCH OF LOVE 
PART 4
A STORY WRITTEN BY KENT




Damilare Peters arranged the pay-slips on the desk. The end of every month felt like a jackpot for him. He had a lot of debts to settle and a few things to purchase. He hoped he would have enough left to get him by before he received another paycheck. He considered himself lucky to have gotten employment in Hopewell Dental Clinic as an Accountant. His paycheck was the double of what his peers earned. The nurses strode into his office without knocking, followed by the receptionist.
“Don’t you girls ever knock?”
“The Accountant,” Adanne sat on his desk.
“Accountant, accountant, how you dey now?” Ibinabo settled on a chair in front of the table while Sikemi took the other seat.
“Where is our pay slip?”
He searched her face. The receptionist never wasted time. She was always direct and straight to the point. He liked her, but his height might be a problem. She was at least three inches taller. He knew several girls who didn’t like dating men shorter than they were. He had seen her ogle at the CEO on more than one occasion. He was shorter than her too. If she liked their boss, maybe she might give him a chance.
Sikemi stared back at him puzzled. His intent gaze made her uneasy. Was he interested in her? He wasn’t that bad. He had a good physique, but too short for her liking. He was from her tribe and that was a plus. She was interested in their boss. If only he would notice her. The man had been acting beside himself lately. She had a feeling that he was sort of depressed. She wished he would confide in her. Who was she anyway? His employee, she wasn’t even his friend.
“Have you noticed Oga’s mood swings?” Adanne tapped her on the shoulder.
She looked up at her and nodded.
“That’s true. He is being kind of cold and unapproachable lately,” Ibinabo chimed in.
“May be he is stressed up,” Adanne reasoned.
“Abeg, abeg, take your pay-slips. Don’t turn my office into a gossip center,” he distributed their slips. The nurses chuckled, collected their slips and headed out.
“Oga has turned to stone cold Steve Austin,” Damilare said casually.
Her confused look made him to laugh, “Who is Steve Austin?”
“Steve Austin now, Wrestle Mania…”
Her clueless gaze remained on his face, “I don’t watch wrestling matches.”
“Like seriously?”
She eyed him and got to her feet.
“Steve Austin is mean, cold, powerful, six feet, broad shouldered, fair, six pack, steel-like stance, emotionless and strong.”
“So, our boss is Stone cold Bassey Etim?”
“Exactly, without the height, muscles and you know.”
She started to laugh.
“I was there when he lashed out at Doctor Sylvester.”
“What happened?” she sat back on the chair, eager for news.
“If words were swords, Dr. Slyvester would have had severe cuts all over him.”
“Ouch!” She placed a hand on her chest.
“A broken heart does nasty things to a man’s mind.”
“But, I thought he was over his ex-girlfriend,” she raised an eye-brow.
He shrugged, “Maybe something or someone re-opened his old wounds.”
“Ouch!”
“I guess we are in for a repeat episode of what happened when they just broke up a year ago.”
“God help us,” she leaned against the chair and folded her arms across her chest.

xxxxxx
He drove homewards, despite the storm; he navigated his way into the Government Residential Area. He thought of eating catfish pepper soup for dinner after taking a hot bath. A hot milky beverage would make him to relax and send him off to Slumber land. He had not been sleeping well and it was affecting him physically and mentally. Two houses away from his place, he saw a group of people gathered at a corner and shouting at a man, a woman and a young lady. They stayed closed together, drenched and shivering. What was going on? Should he find out or head home? He didn’t like getting wet in the rain. He drove off and stopped in front of the white house. He changed his mind and got out of the car. He approached the crowd and recognized many of them. Most of them lived on that particular street.
“Uncle Bassey,” she tapped him on the shoulder.
“What are you doing out here? Don’t you know you can catch a cold?” he eyed his neighbour’s daughter.
She pouted her lips.
“What is going on here?”
She moved closer to him, “This man, his wife and daughter, have been living in that uncompleted building down the street. The people in the area want them to live.”
His brows creased in a frown. What was their business? “Nobody has a say in this matter except the owner of the building.”
“The sister of the land owner is the one leading the protest.”
“Witchcraft,” he said under his breath.
“They said they don’t have anywhere else to go, but, no one is listening.”
He sighed and approached the stranded family.
“Doctor Bassey…” someone called him from the crowd, “Please tell them to leave or else I will call the police.”
He ignored the person and addressed the family, “Good evening.”
They stared back at him blankly and cringed.
“I live in that house over there,” he pointed at the white house, they followed his gaze, “It is raining, let’s go in… least you catch a cold or something worse, then, we can talk.”
They exchanged glances and looked back at him.
“Please come with me,” he beckoned at them.
They followed him immediately, but, with caution. The crowd watched them and dispersed, but, Chinyere followed the doctor and the strange family. He led them into the building and returned to get his car. He parked the car inside the compound and hurried into the building. He met Chinyere by the stairway.
“Uncle…”
“Not now, not now,” he dashed off.
She stamped her feet on the ground and watched him leave. She wanted to know why he took the family home. What he did was very risky. He didn’t know them from Adam and they were inside his house. She decided to confront him in the morning. She dragged her feet and returned to her flat.

xxxxxx
Bassey led the family into one of the guest rooms.
“Do you have anything to change into?”
They shook their heads.
“Okay, I will be right back,” he hurried away and returned with a pile of clothes. He dumped them on the large bed, “This…” he picked up a tee-shirt and a pair of black trousers, “It belongs to me…” he sized up the man who looked like he was in his fifties, “I think this will suit you,” he gave it to the man, “The blouses and skirts are for my younger sister, she spends her weekends here sometimes,” he looked at the woman in her forties and the young lady in her mid-twenties.
“Thank you,” they chorused.
“When you have all taken a hot bath, please join me at the dining,” he retreated and found his way out.
The man held hands with his wife and daughter. They were grateful to God for rescuing them from the angry crowd. They had been terrified because they had nowhere else to go that night. The uncompleted building had been their abode for several months. God had sent them an angel and they were grateful.

Watch out for part 5

TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING

Spare the rod and spoil the child, that could win the "most popular quote of African parents, a few days ago I watched a scene where a single mother mercilessly beat her child for talking to a stranger, OK obviously that is none of my business, it's her child after all, but then it got me thinking, too many of my friends tend to have this symptoms of low self-esteem which is coating with the word "containment", "they are well trained", their parents would boast but that's not what am thinking, am thinking they are over trained.

Hitting your children constantly may stop their bad behavior but will damage them and your relationship with them in the long run.

People who believe "sparing the rod spoils the child" should be a lifestyle typically dismiss the enormous body of research showing that hitting children constantly turns them into angry, resentful adults with psychological and emotional problems. A large meta-analysis of studies on the effects of punishment found that the more physical punishment children receive, the more defiant they are toward parents and authorities, the poorer their relationships with parents, the more likely they are to report hitting a dating partner or spouse. They are also more likely to suffer mental health problems, such as anxiety, depression, and substance abuse problems.
A rational person changes his or her beliefs when reality turns out to contradict those beliefs.
The data show that punishment must be age-appropriate, and must be used when appropriate. Mild spanks may be acceptable for children aged 2-6, older children should be disciplined in non-violent ways, and parents with anger issues or abusive tendencies should avoid physical discipline entirely. According to national statistics, nearly 125,000 children were victims of physical abuse serious enough to warrant medical care in 2012, and 42% of those victims were under the age of 6.
Even when using physical punishment on a young child, you must be sure punishment is really called for in the circumstances. I once saw a father and young son (about age five) bicycling along a busy road, the father following the son. The father was beside himself with rage because his son simply would not keep his mind on the road. Everything seemed to distract him. The father finally lost it, pulled his son off his bicycle, and swatted him hard on the bottom. "What you're doing is dangerous", he yelled, "You could be killed! You have to pay attention!" What the father failed to understand is that his young son was not capable of ignoring all of those distractions. His son was getting punished for failing to do something he was incapable of doing. A child that age is more  capable of following someone on a bicycle than leading. The reason for this is biological: Self-control and focus is the function of the brain's frontal lobes, and the frontal lobes are not fully developed or fully connected to the rest of the brain until early adulthood.

No one can learn when they’re afraid. 

I was reading an interview with Dr. Bruce Lipton (you can click on the name to read the interview) and he said that  that it is biologically impossible to learn and implement higher-order thinking when fearful. The fear response triggers the fight or flight instinct and adrenaline and cortisol flood our bloodstreams and brains. Our blood is diverted to our extremities and higher order frontal lobe thinking is basically shut down in favor of more reflexive responses, originated from our instinctual brain stem area. If you want your child to learn something, it’s critical to reduce fear rather than increase it.

Alright, am not saying you should spare the rod entirely, but then the rod shouldn't be a daily bread for your kids.


Gentle instruction, supported by a strong foundation of love and respect, is the only truly effective way to bring about commendable behavior based on strong inner values, instead of superficially "good" behavior based only on fear.

THE CREATIVE MIND


Creativity is the result of how you think. Practicing the habits of creative thinking allows you to break the barrier of what's achievable. Better skills, and the ability to get through tough situations are just a few of the things creative thinking brings.
According to a global study, "only 1 in 4 believe they are living up to their creative potential." That's a sad fact due to what's truly possible. But what's the good news here? Well, we all know how important the strive for creativity is. Plus we have the opportunity to create all day long.
We may sometimes be interrupted by days activities, facebook (and other social medias) or getting organized but creative minds always find time to be creative.
Whether you wanna start being creative or you want to maximize your creative thinking potential, here are the habits of creative thinkers to learn from.


1. Learn Something New Every Day


There's one simple fact you need to know in order to succeed. In order to have the life you want. To live beyond the confined space of so-called life. And to spark your imagination so you can do the best work possible.
Here it is.
"Everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you. You can change it. You can influence it. You can build your own things that other people can use." - Steve Jobs
Creative minds don't let other's achievements affect their own creation of something remarkable. If you think you can't do something - write a novel or a song, code a website, or make a product you believe people will need - think again. Think about the fact that everything you see right now was created by someone. Did they have some sort of superpower?
No. They were a creative thinker who practiced the habits of creative thinking truly and passionately.
Developing creativity means learning something new every day.  Take time between your normal schooling and running errands to acquire a new skill. This could also mean experimenting with new techniques for the stuff you're already working on.
Here's an example for you. My friend is a photographer and has just recently starting drawing. Every day he makes sure to draw something - a sketch, a concept, a character, anything. What he told me is that the more he draws, the more interesting his art becomes. New techniques and approaches to drawing lines helps expand the creativity of his work. You know what happened next? His photography became more interesting too.
Creativity happens when you make the effort to learn or try something new every day. Pretty soon it will become a habit. Have good creative habits and your mind will be happy.

2. Connect The Dots


Steve Jobs talked about it in his famous commencement speech (you can click the link to watch on you tube). He said that creativity is just connecting the dots. Creative thinkers produce ideas by finding the relationship between facts. Facts merely on their own are useless until one sees the connection between them.
Creative thinkers produce ideas by finding the relationship between facts. Facts merely on their own are useless until one sees the connection between them.
When you see the connection between facts, you're able to create something different.
Developing a wide range of skills is a great way to discover the connection of ideas. Don't just stick to what you're "naturally" good at.
The connection between ideas doesn't happen unless you explore a little. Start enhancing your natural gift with the skills that complement it. Writers can learn about photography, designers can learn about development, and developers can learn about design. Everyone will thank you for your ability to see above and beyond. You may even spot something they weren't aware of and offer your advice.

3. See The Potential and Make A List


Don't stop thinking just because the technology, money, or support behind your idea doesn't exist yet. It will someday. Reality is the result of imagination. What you put into the machine of creativity is the actual product or innovation you'll get out.
You can create your best work based on the amount of vision you put into a single idea. Even Einstein famously said, "Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.”
Here's what you should do. Make a list of the things you want to do, to be, and to achieve. Without editing, without thinking too much, and without believing something's impossible - just write a list.
Now take a good look at your list. Keeping in mind the habits of creative thinking, what is stopping you from making the things on your list a reality? Remember that reality is what you create. Think creatively and you'll find solutions to the issues that may come up when you're working. 

4. Don't Shut The Door On Creativity


We all know it's important to listen to other's feedback. But if someone is telling you something can't be done or shouldn't be done without hearing the full story - don't listen to them. Create without interruption. You don't want someone knocking down your ideas before those ideas flourish.




You don’t want someone knocking down your ideas before those ideas flourish.
Also keep in mind, we have to sometimes tone down our creative mind from getting too wild. But don't do this right away. Example, If asked for a logo with very specific requests, don't immediately follow those rules.
First, design with your initial instincts. What could you do with their concept that they hadn't asked for? Then tone it down to meet their requirements. It may even inspire your client to think of something they would want to include in the design. But if you're going to do this, make sure most of the work you present them follows what they asked for. The point is to keep the door to creativity open. When you write, don't stop to edit. This is when you loose all the good thoughts that prompted you to open a blank document in the first place.
Create now and edit after. Who knows where your creative mind will go?



       Alright, i will conclude by saying you should never, ever believe someone else can do better you (This isn't pride). I have this friend of mine with an amazing voice and all she ever does is point out people better than her, now this can limit your creativity. Think "i can be the best" work towards it. It might be difficult but then,THE END always justifies THE MEANS.






TO MA CHERIE



If I had to explain the reason
Why I find you so pretty and sweet
I would explain it by saying
That you are my heart’s beat

If I had to describe you in a few words
I wouldn’t say sexy or amazing
I would describe you with the phrase
You’re my reason for being

You are the prettiest
You are the cutest
If I had to invent a new word
I would call you beautifulest
You are the most charming
You are most intelligent
I have never seen someone
Who is so elegant

You are the girl
That every guy desires
Baby, I love you a lot
For you, my heart is on fire 


TOUCH OF LOVE (PART 3)








THE TOUCH OF LOVE 
PART 3
A STORY WRITTEN BY KENT


Stephen gave the child a pack of chocolate. He had developed a habit of giving candy and chocolates to every child that visited his dental clinic. It made the child’s experience endurable, regardless of the procedure he or she was brought in for. Most times, it was usually the removal of a bad tooth. It didn't matter if he was available or not, he had instructed his staff to follow suit. He had been running the clinic since he completed his internship at Lagos University Teaching Hospital. He inherited a ten bedroom duplex amongst other things from his late father and had converted the ground floor into a clinic and the upper floor into his living quarters. His patients loved the fact that he was accessible. He had two other dentists working with him, three nurses and a few non-medical staff. He hoped to set up branches of the clinic in different parts of the country at the end of the year and at least three other branches in the West African region.
The mother and child waved goodbye and walked out of his office. His personal assistant came in immediately.
“Sir, there is someone here to see you.”
“Who?” he returned to his seat behind the oval glass desk.
“Doctor Bassey.”
His gaze flew back to her smiling face. He had not seen his childhood friend in a while. It was intentional. He had come up with one excuse or the other over the past few months. He knew he would have to face him one day, but, was he ready?
“Let him in.”
“Okay sir,” she retreated and closed the door behind her.
Stephene rose the moment the door opened and Bassey walked in, “To what do I owe this impromptu visit?”
“You are the busy one,” Bassey approached the desk.
“Business has been very good,” he circled the table and shook hands with his friend. He towered over him. His six foot figure made him look like a Greek god.
“At least you have a large staff,” he released his hands.
“Yes, em… what can I offer you?” Stephen placed both hands on his hips.
“Why don’t you explain this?” he brought out the invitation card from his pocket.
“Oh…” he recognized his wedding invitation card. He took a step back and leaned on one of the leather chairs in front of the desk.
“Is this why you have been avoiding me?” Bassey threw the card on the glass desk.
He grinned, “What do you want me to tell you?”
An angry expression took over his fair face, “You stole my fiancée.”
Stephen started to laugh, “Come on man mi. Darn it, she called off the damned wedding.”
“After you brain-washed her.”
He scratched a spot on his eyebrow, “I am going to marry Lovejoy, nothing and no one can stop that from happening.”
Bassey took a closer look at the man he used to call his friend. There was something off about him.
“You have had it good all these years; it is my turn to feast.”
“Feast? On what doesn’t belong to you? What rubbishing are you spouting?”
“Do you think you are the only one that will make it?” his tone raised a pitch.
Bassey watched him with keen interest.
“I am taller than you, much more handsome, broad shouldered and all, compared to your skinny self.”
His friend’s disdainful look astounded him. He was beginning to think that Stephen was jealous of him. He folded his arms across his chest and paid attention.
“I don’t know what babes see in you. They melt at your mere presence and flock around you like bees. Every girl I ever liked was in love with you,” he pointed an accusing finger at him.
He swallowed hard. His friend had been envious of him all along. How come he didn't detect it?
“We set up dental clinics around the same time, but, yours picked up faster than mine.”
“What are you talking about? Look at this place, you are more successful,” he looked around him.
“I have always loved Lovejoy. You were going to marry her and I decided to do something about it.”
Bassey shook his head in disbelief.
“I convinced her that you were sterile and eureka! She became mine.”
His eyes became red. He gritted his teeth and clenched his fist.
“At long last, I have something you can never ever possess in a million years, lucky me,” he winked at him and laughed.
Suddenly his friend attacked him. Both men swerved from one spot to the other, pushing, kicking and hitting each another. They landed on the tiled floor with a thud.
Stephen pushed him off and sat on the floor, “You are crazy!” his breath came fast and hard.
“You allowed jealousy and envy to ruin our friendship,” he lashed back at him.
“What friendship?” he eyed him.
Bassey shook his head and got up.
“You are invited to the wedding.”
His personal assistant came in, in a hurry. She looked at both men, and then backed out.
“You can have her,” he adjusted his blue checkered long sleeve shirt.
He chuckled, “She is already mine.”
“I don’t want someone who didn’t trust me enough to confront me, regardless of how convincing the evidence against me was.”
“Whatever, your loss, my gain,” he got on his knees and rose.
Bassey took his eyes off him and marched out of the large office.
*********
The moment she saw the silver car coming through the gate, she sneaked out of the flat and ran to meet him. He staggered out of the car and locked it. He straightened himself and noticed his neighbour’s daughter heading his way. He hissed. He was in no mood for her charade.
“Uncle Bassey, welcome. You are late today. Did you attend to a lot of people? You must be tired,” she tried to pat him on the back, but, he slapped her hand off. Her shocked gaze lingered on his emotionless face. He strode towards the one storey building and left her standing by the car, wondering what had come over him. He climbed the stairs and met Halima and Simisola at his doorstep.
“Doctor welcome,” they chorused.
He ignored them, unlocked the door and went in. They exchanged glances, wondering what was wrong with him.
Bassey went straight to his room, got out of his clothes and locked himself in the bathroom. He came out an hour later, clad in his boxers, and went straight to bed. He had no appetite. Food was the farthest thing from his turmoil mind. His encounter with Lovejoy and Stephen had been a bad experience. He turned on his side and reached out for his phone. He went through his phone book list and placed his younger brother and sister on a conference call.
“Hello…”
“Hello… Bros you no dey sleep at all?” he heard his younger brother’s voice.
“It is almost midnight for heaven’s sake,” his younger sister complained.
“Shut up, shut up, see this children wey they born yesterday.”
He heard them laughing. Their voices soothed his aching heart.
“When was the last time bros called like this?” Imabong asked.
“That time now,” Eno responded.
“Oh okay, Lovejoy matter,” Imabong whistled.
“Serious matter o,” Eno chimed in.
He listened to their chit-chat and sighed, “I met her today.”
“What?!” Eno exclaimed.
“Who?” Imabong wasn’t sure he heard him clearly.
“Lovejoy now,” his sister answered quickly.
“Ehn-hen… where?” Imabong’s curiousity accelerated.
“She is…” her face flashed through his mind’s eye, “She is getting married to Stephen next month.”
“Wow! She didn’t waste time,” Eno sounded disappointed.
“Which Stephen?” Imabong asked.
“Stephen Edet,” Bassey replied.
There was a moment’s silence.
“Stephen Akpos Edet!” his siblings chorused.
He could discern their surprised state in their voices, “Yes, my childhood friend.”
“This is unbelievable!” Imabong hissed.
“He planned it. He told her something false about me and she called off the wedding.”
“This girl is dumber than I thought,” Eno hissed.
“Why didn’t she ask you?” Imabong felt angered.
“She just believed your friend like that,” Eno hissed again.
“Na so I see am o,” Bassey sighed heavily.
“I can still remember how her parents rained insult on us and called us unprintable names the day we went to their place,” Eno sounded sad.
“What did he tell her sef?” Imabong’s voice was laced with gloom.
“He convinced her with a fake doctor’s report that I was sterile.”
“Eh! See gbege,” Eno cried out.
“Sharp guy. That your friend messed up. See lie,” Imabong felt distressed.
“Lie from the pit of hell,” his sister added. “I will let dad and mum know.”
“Thanks Eno.”
“Come to think of it, bros you dey sterile?” his younger brother asked.
“Imabong!” they chorused.
“What? I supposed ask now.”
“Where did Stephen get a fake doctor’s report?” Eno wanted to know.
“Beats me,” Bassey couldn’t imagine the length at which his friend went to deceive his ex.
“Bros sorry o.”
“Hang in there.”
“Thanks.”
“Should I come over after work tomorrow?” his sister asked quickly.
He frowned, “No, no, no, Eno thanks. I am fine.”
“Are you sure?”
“I said I am fine.”
Imabong’s laughter rang in their ears, “Eno won go clear bros kitchen. Ah… Eno, na wa for you o.”
“Shaarap there.”
“Have a blessed night you two.”
“Goodnight bros,” they chorused.
He hung up and lay on his back. He felt relieved after talking with them. It was therapeutic. His parents would be so disappointed at Stephen. At least, they would know why Lovejoy called off the wedding. He closed his eyes and said a prayer. He lay all that concerned him at God’s feet.
Watch out for part 4
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Thursday 5 October 2017

PATIENCE AND ITS IMPORTANCE

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To say patience is a virtue is an understatement. It’s really more of a skill—one that can be learned and needs constant nurturing.
Patience is the state of being that occurs between experience and reaction. Whether you’re trying to be patient with yourself, others, or life, it seems to always involve the experience of dealing with delays or obstacles.
By cultivating a practice of patience, you’re able to let go of things outside your control and live with less stress, anxiety, and frustration.
It’s not an easy practice, but here are a few reasons why you should take it serious :

Patience transforms relationships

Sometimes, in our relationships, we become defensive, irritated, and say something to hurt others. We do not realize the importance of patience and end up making hasty decisions. Whenever you feel defensive against the person, try to be patient enough to take time to think over another person’s positive qualities.

Patience helps acquire positive attitude

If things are not going the way you want them to, instead of getting frustrated,  you must learn to be patient. You need to see things and situations in a positive light to make your life happier. And to get that positivity, you need to be patient.
If you find any life situation challenging, or find it difficult to bear, try to re-frame that situation and try to see its positive side.

Patience makes you healthier

Anger and stress are two things that are enough to ruin a person’s health. And patience is the antidote to both these illnesses. Being patient, you can overcome any challenging situation with more flexibility and in a better way. Being stress-free and happy helps you stay healthier.
You can be patient if you have clear knowledge about your goal and if you are putting the desired effort in the right direction. There are many ways to achieve anything. The trick is to stick to your own plan when others around you seem to be getting ahead much faster than you. Yes, they may be enjoying more success than you, but you know nothing about where they are ultimately headed.
Patience is an important tool in overcoming frustration. Patience allows us to suspend judgment long enough to make informed decisions, thus paving the path to a happy and peaceful life.

Wednesday 13 September 2017

WHY MOST PEOPLE NEVER SUCCEED

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Success is relative and defined by our individual goals and accomplishments. Not by comparing ourselves to others or by what others think success is for us. When you look at people who you believe are successful, what do they do and have in common? When you look at your own successes, what are the things you did to accomplish those successes?

Success forms patterns and usually follows a set of defined principles and behaviors. When we get outside these behaviors and principles and start seeing the wrong outcome or things going in the wrong direction, this is when we need to pause. We need to step back and evaluate our success fundamentals.
Many of the most accomplished people including Stephen King and Abraham Lincoln  all experienced challenges early on, but they didn't give up. They stayed focused on their goals and persevered because they believed in themselves. They all had their own success processes and consistently worked and tweaked them as they needed to along the way. They still do, because successful people are always refining.

Well here i listed a few reasons why i think most people never succeed :

1. They don’t understand the value of time.


Unsuccessful people don’t value their time. They are everywhere, anywhere, anytime because they lack the ability to dedicate their time towards their goals. And year after year they make new promises which never come to fruition simply because they couldn't be bothered to put in the time required towards their goals. Time management skills, learning how to say no and knowing what commitments to undertake, is a step towards great success in any area of our lives.


2. They don’t do things that are in alignment with their goals


The more important a goal is, the higher it will be on your hierarchy of values and the more discipline and order you will have associated with it. The less important a goal is, the lower it will be on your hierarchy of values and the less discipline and more disorder you’ll have associated with it. Unsuccessful people have mistaken busyness with productivity. They are a part of everything but nothing which they do is in alignment to their values and their goals. Writing down in a journal what your gaols are and implementing strategies which can get you there will help you identify things that are not on par with where you are going.



3. They have self-imposed limitations


Unsuccessful people tend to say things like “I’m just not good with numbers”, “I just really hate studying”, and “I just don’t think I can run a successful business”. They put limits on themselves and excuse their behaviour but it’s really just a way of underachieving and aiming low enough to not miss. Get rid of the idea that you only have a specific set of skills and talents for specific tasks, stop thinking that you’re not as intelligent as the next person. What life requires of you is to make the most of yourself, for yourself, and for others.




4. They are good at making excuses



These are the people who will find reasons and logic as to why they can’t and why they shouldn't. They sometimes mistake this abhorrent tendency for “just being realistic”. They lack imagination and always find ways to justify why something shouldn't be but they never really try. The best remedy for this is to stop your mind when it’s about to start making the excuses and re-ignite the engine that has started it all.



5. They don’t’ take action


“Do something today, your future self will thank you for” – Les Brown
The simplicity of this rule of life may be why they disregard the magnitude of its effects. Unsuccessful people tend to ponder and leave footprints in the sands of time. They can talk a great game and they dream really big but they lack the courage to just go forth. Stop dreaming about what will be, dreams in themselves are not bad but get up, show up and DO something. Stop with the coffee shop meetings and go do something.


The people who are out there making things happen are not as extraordinary as we make them ought to be. They’re pretty plain and most of  the time after a second glance they’re not all that exceptional in any way but they've managed to get to where they are and stay there because they mastered the art of discipline and being the right person at the right time. Maybe you have so many things you want to complete and sometimes you feel so overwhelmed because, there’s just not enough time. Put the cell phone down, log off once in a while and stop minding everybody’s business and you’ll be amazed at the potential you’ll unlock.


Tuesday 12 September 2017

BENEFITS OF READING

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When was the last time you read a book?

 If you're one of countless people who don't make a habit of reading regularly, you might be missing out: reading has a significant number of benefits, and just a few benefits of reading are listed below.

1. Stress Reduction

No matter how much stress you have at work, in your personal relationships, or countless other issues faced in daily life, it all just slips away when you lose yourself in a great story. A well-written novel can transport you to other realms, while an engaging article will distract you and keep you in the present moment, letting tensions drain away and allowing you to relax.

2. Knowledge

Everything you read fills your head with new bits of information, and you never know when it might come in handy. The more knowledge you have, the better-equipped you are to tackle any challenge you'll ever face.

Additionally, here's a bit of food for thought: should you ever find yourself in dire circumstances, remember that although you might lose everything else—your job, your possessions, your money, even your health—knowledge can never be taken from you.

3. Vocabulary Expansion


This goes with the above topic: the more you read, the more words you gain exposure to, and they'll inevitably make their way into your everyday vocabulary. Being articulate and well-spoken is of great help in any profession, and knowing that you can speak to higher-ups with self-confidence can be an enormous boost to your self-esteem. It could even aid in your career, as those who are well-read, well-spoken, and knowledgeable on a variety of topics tend to get promotions more quickly (and more often) than those with smaller vocabularies.

4. Better Writing Skills

This goes hand-in-hand with the expansion of your vocabulary: exposure to published, well-written work has a noted effect on one's own writing, as observing the cadence, fluidity, and writing styles of other authors will invariably influence your own work. In the same way that musicians influence one another, and painters use techniques established by previous masters, so do writers learn how to craft prose by reading the works of others.

 There's something out there to capture your curiosity and imagination. Step away from your phone for a little while, crack open a book, and replenish your soul.


Thursday 10 August 2017

BUILDING A POSITIVE SELF ESTEEM

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Self-esteem refers to the opinion you have for your own self. If you feel you’re competent and kind, good looking, or capable of doing things, this is a sign that you have high self-esteem.

But, if you have negative opinions about yourself and feel that you cannot do your tasks like others do or do not look good, you have low self-esteem. Sometimes, low self-esteem becomes the cause of anxiety and depression.

Therefore, self-esteem refers to how you think about your own self, how worthy you think you are and how much importance you give to yourself. It’s not about bragging about yourself, but knowing that you can do your best, even if you’re not perfect.

The Importance of Self-Esteem

It’s unfortunate that only a few people know the important role that self-esteem plays in their lives. The success that you have in your career depends on the effort that you invest in it. Also, the amount of effort that you invest depends on the level of trust that you have in yourself for successfully achieving your goals. Simply, if you do not believe in yourself that you will succeed, you never will. Besides, it’s next to impossible to get better business opportunities or career promotion if you lack self-esteem.

Low self esteem is often the main reason for disappointments in relationships. People with poor self-worth often experience difficulty in getting along with their partners, it as well as affects their sex life. People with negative images about their selves often feel distrust, jealousy, and problems with intimacy. Some indications of poor self-esteem include the following:

•    Feeling of extreme jealousy 

•    Loss of decision making abilities 

•    Feeling of not being respected and cherished by their loved ones 

•    Developing a sense of dependence on others even on simple things 

•    Always feel pressured while doing tasks 

•    Display of excessive anger over simple misunderstandings 

•    Too much worry 

•    Frustration 

•    Feeling helpless 

•    Poor performance at school or the workplace 

It’s extremely difficult to experience the joy of life if you have negative thoughts about yourself. If you always feel negative and have low self-esteem, you’ll never realize your success potentials and you’ll never feel happy in life. Even if things around you are perfect, you’ll never have the chance to enjoy them if you always have negative ideas about your own self.

How Self-Esteem Can Change the Life of a Person

A person with high self-esteem sees everything in a positive view and always feels confident and enjoys life. Even if hardships and difficulties come his way, he sees it challenges and never backs down. If you have high self-esteem, you’ll feel confident.

You will not allow other people to treat you in the wrong way or take advantage on you. All people experience ups and downs at some point of their life and it is ok. However, this doesn’t mean that you should back down and have low self-esteem. If you always have the feeling of not being worthy of something, you’ll never have the courage to try new things and succeed in life.

If you feel that you have low self-esteem, you do not need to worry too much as there are ways you can get rid of it and build self-confidence. Jot down the things that make you feel good about yourself, the things that you have done, and the compliments that others have given to you and this will make you feel good about yourself. If you’re an office person, stick notes to your computer or desk “I’m doing well” or “I can do it”.

These messages will be absorbed by your mind. Everyone is gifted with the power to do great things. Everyone is worthy and see to it that you keep these things in mind. Soon, you’ll feel confident and happy.

Saturday 5 August 2017

THE TOUCH OF LOVE (PART 4)

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THE TOUCH OF LOVE 
PART 4
A STORY WRITTEN BY KENT




Damilare Peters arranged the pay-slips on the desk. The end of every month felt like a jackpot for him. He had a lot of debts to settle and a few things to purchase. He hoped he would have enough left to get him by before he received another paycheck. He considered himself lucky to have gotten employment in Hopewell Dental Clinic as an Accountant. His paycheck was the double of what his peers earned. The nurses strode into his office without knocking, followed by the receptionist.
“Don’t you girls ever knock?”
“The Accountant,” Adanne sat on his desk.
“Accountant, accountant, how you dey now?” Ibinabo settled on a chair in front of the table while Sikemi took the other seat.
“Where is our pay slip?”
He searched her face. The receptionist never wasted time. She was always direct and straight to the point. He liked her, but his height might be a problem. She was at least three inches taller. He knew several girls who didn’t like dating men shorter than they were. He had seen her ogle at the CEO on more than one occasion. He was shorter than her too. If she liked their boss, maybe she might give him a chance.
Sikemi stared back at him puzzled. His intent gaze made her uneasy. Was he interested in her? He wasn’t that bad. He had a good physique, but too short for her liking. He was from her tribe and that was a plus. She was interested in their boss. If only he would notice her. The man had been acting beside himself lately. She had a feeling that he was sort of depressed. She wished he would confide in her. Who was she anyway? His employee, she wasn’t even his friend.
“Have you noticed Oga’s mood swings?” Adanne tapped her on the shoulder.
She looked up at her and nodded.
“That’s true. He is being kind of cold and unapproachable lately,” Ibinabo chimed in.
“May be he is stressed up,” Adanne reasoned.
“Abeg, abeg, take your pay-slips. Don’t turn my office into a gossip center,” he distributed their slips. The nurses chuckled, collected their slips and headed out.
“Oga has turned to stone cold Steve Austin,” Damilare said casually.
Her confused look made him to laugh, “Who is Steve Austin?”
“Steve Austin now, Wrestle Mania…”
Her clueless gaze remained on his face, “I don’t watch wrestling matches.”
“Like seriously?”
She eyed him and got to her feet.
“Steve Austin is mean, cold, powerful, six feet, broad shouldered, fair, six pack, steel-like stance, emotionless and strong.”
“So, our boss is Stone cold Bassey Etim?”
“Exactly, without the height, muscles and you know.”
She started to laugh.
“I was there when he lashed out at Doctor Sylvester.”
“What happened?” she sat back on the chair, eager for news.
“If words were swords, Dr. Slyvester would have had severe cuts all over him.”
“Ouch!” She placed a hand on her chest.
“A broken heart does nasty things to a man’s mind.”
“But, I thought he was over his ex-girlfriend,” she raised an eye-brow.
He shrugged, “Maybe something or someone re-opened his old wounds.”
“Ouch!”
“I guess we are in for a repeat episode of what happened when they just broke up a year ago.”
“God help us,” she leaned against the chair and folded her arms across her chest.

xxxxxx
He drove homewards, despite the storm; he navigated his way into the Government Residential Area. He thought of eating catfish pepper soup for dinner after taking a hot bath. A hot milky beverage would make him to relax and send him off to Slumber land. He had not been sleeping well and it was affecting him physically and mentally. Two houses away from his place, he saw a group of people gathered at a corner and shouting at a man, a woman and a young lady. They stayed closed together, drenched and shivering. What was going on? Should he find out or head home? He didn’t like getting wet in the rain. He drove off and stopped in front of the white house. He changed his mind and got out of the car. He approached the crowd and recognized many of them. Most of them lived on that particular street.
“Uncle Bassey,” she tapped him on the shoulder.
“What are you doing out here? Don’t you know you can catch a cold?” he eyed his neighbour’s daughter.
She pouted her lips.
“What is going on here?”
She moved closer to him, “This man, his wife and daughter, have been living in that uncompleted building down the street. The people in the area want them to live.”
His brows creased in a frown. What was their business? “Nobody has a say in this matter except the owner of the building.”
“The sister of the land owner is the one leading the protest.”
“Witchcraft,” he said under his breath.
“They said they don’t have anywhere else to go, but, no one is listening.”
He sighed and approached the stranded family.
“Doctor Bassey…” someone called him from the crowd, “Please tell them to leave or else I will call the police.”
He ignored the person and addressed the family, “Good evening.”
They stared back at him blankly and cringed.
“I live in that house over there,” he pointed at the white house, they followed his gaze, “It is raining, let’s go in… least you catch a cold or something worse, then, we can talk.”
They exchanged glances and looked back at him.
“Please come with me,” he beckoned at them.
They followed him immediately, but, with caution. The crowd watched them and dispersed, but, Chinyere followed the doctor and the strange family. He led them into the building and returned to get his car. He parked the car inside the compound and hurried into the building. He met Chinyere by the stairway.
“Uncle…”
“Not now, not now,” he dashed off.
She stamped her feet on the ground and watched him leave. She wanted to know why he took the family home. What he did was very risky. He didn’t know them from Adam and they were inside his house. She decided to confront him in the morning. She dragged her feet and returned to her flat.

xxxxxx
Bassey led the family into one of the guest rooms.
“Do you have anything to change into?”
They shook their heads.
“Okay, I will be right back,” he hurried away and returned with a pile of clothes. He dumped them on the large bed, “This…” he picked up a tee-shirt and a pair of black trousers, “It belongs to me…” he sized up the man who looked like he was in his fifties, “I think this will suit you,” he gave it to the man, “The blouses and skirts are for my younger sister, she spends her weekends here sometimes,” he looked at the woman in her forties and the young lady in her mid-twenties.
“Thank you,” they chorused.
“When you have all taken a hot bath, please join me at the dining,” he retreated and found his way out.
The man held hands with his wife and daughter. They were grateful to God for rescuing them from the angry crowd. They had been terrified because they had nowhere else to go that night. The uncompleted building had been their abode for several months. God had sent them an angel and they were grateful.

Watch out for part 5

TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING

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Spare the rod and spoil the child, that could win the "most popular quote of African parents, a few days ago I watched a scene where a single mother mercilessly beat her child for talking to a stranger, OK obviously that is none of my business, it's her child after all, but then it got me thinking, too many of my friends tend to have this symptoms of low self-esteem which is coating with the word "containment", "they are well trained", their parents would boast but that's not what am thinking, am thinking they are over trained.

Hitting your children constantly may stop their bad behavior but will damage them and your relationship with them in the long run.

People who believe "sparing the rod spoils the child" should be a lifestyle typically dismiss the enormous body of research showing that hitting children constantly turns them into angry, resentful adults with psychological and emotional problems. A large meta-analysis of studies on the effects of punishment found that the more physical punishment children receive, the more defiant they are toward parents and authorities, the poorer their relationships with parents, the more likely they are to report hitting a dating partner or spouse. They are also more likely to suffer mental health problems, such as anxiety, depression, and substance abuse problems.
A rational person changes his or her beliefs when reality turns out to contradict those beliefs.
The data show that punishment must be age-appropriate, and must be used when appropriate. Mild spanks may be acceptable for children aged 2-6, older children should be disciplined in non-violent ways, and parents with anger issues or abusive tendencies should avoid physical discipline entirely. According to national statistics, nearly 125,000 children were victims of physical abuse serious enough to warrant medical care in 2012, and 42% of those victims were under the age of 6.
Even when using physical punishment on a young child, you must be sure punishment is really called for in the circumstances. I once saw a father and young son (about age five) bicycling along a busy road, the father following the son. The father was beside himself with rage because his son simply would not keep his mind on the road. Everything seemed to distract him. The father finally lost it, pulled his son off his bicycle, and swatted him hard on the bottom. "What you're doing is dangerous", he yelled, "You could be killed! You have to pay attention!" What the father failed to understand is that his young son was not capable of ignoring all of those distractions. His son was getting punished for failing to do something he was incapable of doing. A child that age is more  capable of following someone on a bicycle than leading. The reason for this is biological: Self-control and focus is the function of the brain's frontal lobes, and the frontal lobes are not fully developed or fully connected to the rest of the brain until early adulthood.

No one can learn when they’re afraid. 

I was reading an interview with Dr. Bruce Lipton (you can click on the name to read the interview) and he said that  that it is biologically impossible to learn and implement higher-order thinking when fearful. The fear response triggers the fight or flight instinct and adrenaline and cortisol flood our bloodstreams and brains. Our blood is diverted to our extremities and higher order frontal lobe thinking is basically shut down in favor of more reflexive responses, originated from our instinctual brain stem area. If you want your child to learn something, it’s critical to reduce fear rather than increase it.

Alright, am not saying you should spare the rod entirely, but then the rod shouldn't be a daily bread for your kids.


Gentle instruction, supported by a strong foundation of love and respect, is the only truly effective way to bring about commendable behavior based on strong inner values, instead of superficially "good" behavior based only on fear.

Wednesday 5 July 2017

THE CREATIVE MIND

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Creativity is the result of how you think. Practicing the habits of creative thinking allows you to break the barrier of what's achievable. Better skills, and the ability to get through tough situations are just a few of the things creative thinking brings.
According to a global study, "only 1 in 4 believe they are living up to their creative potential." That's a sad fact due to what's truly possible. But what's the good news here? Well, we all know how important the strive for creativity is. Plus we have the opportunity to create all day long.
We may sometimes be interrupted by days activities, facebook (and other social medias) or getting organized but creative minds always find time to be creative.
Whether you wanna start being creative or you want to maximize your creative thinking potential, here are the habits of creative thinkers to learn from.


1. Learn Something New Every Day


There's one simple fact you need to know in order to succeed. In order to have the life you want. To live beyond the confined space of so-called life. And to spark your imagination so you can do the best work possible.
Here it is.
"Everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you. You can change it. You can influence it. You can build your own things that other people can use." - Steve Jobs
Creative minds don't let other's achievements affect their own creation of something remarkable. If you think you can't do something - write a novel or a song, code a website, or make a product you believe people will need - think again. Think about the fact that everything you see right now was created by someone. Did they have some sort of superpower?
No. They were a creative thinker who practiced the habits of creative thinking truly and passionately.
Developing creativity means learning something new every day.  Take time between your normal schooling and running errands to acquire a new skill. This could also mean experimenting with new techniques for the stuff you're already working on.
Here's an example for you. My friend is a photographer and has just recently starting drawing. Every day he makes sure to draw something - a sketch, a concept, a character, anything. What he told me is that the more he draws, the more interesting his art becomes. New techniques and approaches to drawing lines helps expand the creativity of his work. You know what happened next? His photography became more interesting too.
Creativity happens when you make the effort to learn or try something new every day. Pretty soon it will become a habit. Have good creative habits and your mind will be happy.

2. Connect The Dots


Steve Jobs talked about it in his famous commencement speech (you can click the link to watch on you tube). He said that creativity is just connecting the dots. Creative thinkers produce ideas by finding the relationship between facts. Facts merely on their own are useless until one sees the connection between them.
Creative thinkers produce ideas by finding the relationship between facts. Facts merely on their own are useless until one sees the connection between them.
When you see the connection between facts, you're able to create something different.
Developing a wide range of skills is a great way to discover the connection of ideas. Don't just stick to what you're "naturally" good at.
The connection between ideas doesn't happen unless you explore a little. Start enhancing your natural gift with the skills that complement it. Writers can learn about photography, designers can learn about development, and developers can learn about design. Everyone will thank you for your ability to see above and beyond. You may even spot something they weren't aware of and offer your advice.

3. See The Potential and Make A List


Don't stop thinking just because the technology, money, or support behind your idea doesn't exist yet. It will someday. Reality is the result of imagination. What you put into the machine of creativity is the actual product or innovation you'll get out.
You can create your best work based on the amount of vision you put into a single idea. Even Einstein famously said, "Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.”
Here's what you should do. Make a list of the things you want to do, to be, and to achieve. Without editing, without thinking too much, and without believing something's impossible - just write a list.
Now take a good look at your list. Keeping in mind the habits of creative thinking, what is stopping you from making the things on your list a reality? Remember that reality is what you create. Think creatively and you'll find solutions to the issues that may come up when you're working. 

4. Don't Shut The Door On Creativity


We all know it's important to listen to other's feedback. But if someone is telling you something can't be done or shouldn't be done without hearing the full story - don't listen to them. Create without interruption. You don't want someone knocking down your ideas before those ideas flourish.




You don’t want someone knocking down your ideas before those ideas flourish.
Also keep in mind, we have to sometimes tone down our creative mind from getting too wild. But don't do this right away. Example, If asked for a logo with very specific requests, don't immediately follow those rules.
First, design with your initial instincts. What could you do with their concept that they hadn't asked for? Then tone it down to meet their requirements. It may even inspire your client to think of something they would want to include in the design. But if you're going to do this, make sure most of the work you present them follows what they asked for. The point is to keep the door to creativity open. When you write, don't stop to edit. This is when you loose all the good thoughts that prompted you to open a blank document in the first place.
Create now and edit after. Who knows where your creative mind will go?



       Alright, i will conclude by saying you should never, ever believe someone else can do better you (This isn't pride). I have this friend of mine with an amazing voice and all she ever does is point out people better than her, now this can limit your creativity. Think "i can be the best" work towards it. It might be difficult but then,THE END always justifies THE MEANS.






Wednesday 7 June 2017

TO MA CHERIE

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If I had to explain the reason
Why I find you so pretty and sweet
I would explain it by saying
That you are my heart’s beat

If I had to describe you in a few words
I wouldn’t say sexy or amazing
I would describe you with the phrase
You’re my reason for being

You are the prettiest
You are the cutest
If I had to invent a new word
I would call you beautifulest
You are the most charming
You are most intelligent
I have never seen someone
Who is so elegant

You are the girl
That every guy desires
Baby, I love you a lot
For you, my heart is on fire 


Tuesday 16 May 2017

TOUCH OF LOVE (PART 3)

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THE TOUCH OF LOVE 
PART 3
A STORY WRITTEN BY KENT


Stephen gave the child a pack of chocolate. He had developed a habit of giving candy and chocolates to every child that visited his dental clinic. It made the child’s experience endurable, regardless of the procedure he or she was brought in for. Most times, it was usually the removal of a bad tooth. It didn't matter if he was available or not, he had instructed his staff to follow suit. He had been running the clinic since he completed his internship at Lagos University Teaching Hospital. He inherited a ten bedroom duplex amongst other things from his late father and had converted the ground floor into a clinic and the upper floor into his living quarters. His patients loved the fact that he was accessible. He had two other dentists working with him, three nurses and a few non-medical staff. He hoped to set up branches of the clinic in different parts of the country at the end of the year and at least three other branches in the West African region.
The mother and child waved goodbye and walked out of his office. His personal assistant came in immediately.
“Sir, there is someone here to see you.”
“Who?” he returned to his seat behind the oval glass desk.
“Doctor Bassey.”
His gaze flew back to her smiling face. He had not seen his childhood friend in a while. It was intentional. He had come up with one excuse or the other over the past few months. He knew he would have to face him one day, but, was he ready?
“Let him in.”
“Okay sir,” she retreated and closed the door behind her.
Stephene rose the moment the door opened and Bassey walked in, “To what do I owe this impromptu visit?”
“You are the busy one,” Bassey approached the desk.
“Business has been very good,” he circled the table and shook hands with his friend. He towered over him. His six foot figure made him look like a Greek god.
“At least you have a large staff,” he released his hands.
“Yes, em… what can I offer you?” Stephen placed both hands on his hips.
“Why don’t you explain this?” he brought out the invitation card from his pocket.
“Oh…” he recognized his wedding invitation card. He took a step back and leaned on one of the leather chairs in front of the desk.
“Is this why you have been avoiding me?” Bassey threw the card on the glass desk.
He grinned, “What do you want me to tell you?”
An angry expression took over his fair face, “You stole my fiancée.”
Stephen started to laugh, “Come on man mi. Darn it, she called off the damned wedding.”
“After you brain-washed her.”
He scratched a spot on his eyebrow, “I am going to marry Lovejoy, nothing and no one can stop that from happening.”
Bassey took a closer look at the man he used to call his friend. There was something off about him.
“You have had it good all these years; it is my turn to feast.”
“Feast? On what doesn’t belong to you? What rubbishing are you spouting?”
“Do you think you are the only one that will make it?” his tone raised a pitch.
Bassey watched him with keen interest.
“I am taller than you, much more handsome, broad shouldered and all, compared to your skinny self.”
His friend’s disdainful look astounded him. He was beginning to think that Stephen was jealous of him. He folded his arms across his chest and paid attention.
“I don’t know what babes see in you. They melt at your mere presence and flock around you like bees. Every girl I ever liked was in love with you,” he pointed an accusing finger at him.
He swallowed hard. His friend had been envious of him all along. How come he didn't detect it?
“We set up dental clinics around the same time, but, yours picked up faster than mine.”
“What are you talking about? Look at this place, you are more successful,” he looked around him.
“I have always loved Lovejoy. You were going to marry her and I decided to do something about it.”
Bassey shook his head in disbelief.
“I convinced her that you were sterile and eureka! She became mine.”
His eyes became red. He gritted his teeth and clenched his fist.
“At long last, I have something you can never ever possess in a million years, lucky me,” he winked at him and laughed.
Suddenly his friend attacked him. Both men swerved from one spot to the other, pushing, kicking and hitting each another. They landed on the tiled floor with a thud.
Stephen pushed him off and sat on the floor, “You are crazy!” his breath came fast and hard.
“You allowed jealousy and envy to ruin our friendship,” he lashed back at him.
“What friendship?” he eyed him.
Bassey shook his head and got up.
“You are invited to the wedding.”
His personal assistant came in, in a hurry. She looked at both men, and then backed out.
“You can have her,” he adjusted his blue checkered long sleeve shirt.
He chuckled, “She is already mine.”
“I don’t want someone who didn’t trust me enough to confront me, regardless of how convincing the evidence against me was.”
“Whatever, your loss, my gain,” he got on his knees and rose.
Bassey took his eyes off him and marched out of the large office.
*********
The moment she saw the silver car coming through the gate, she sneaked out of the flat and ran to meet him. He staggered out of the car and locked it. He straightened himself and noticed his neighbour’s daughter heading his way. He hissed. He was in no mood for her charade.
“Uncle Bassey, welcome. You are late today. Did you attend to a lot of people? You must be tired,” she tried to pat him on the back, but, he slapped her hand off. Her shocked gaze lingered on his emotionless face. He strode towards the one storey building and left her standing by the car, wondering what had come over him. He climbed the stairs and met Halima and Simisola at his doorstep.
“Doctor welcome,” they chorused.
He ignored them, unlocked the door and went in. They exchanged glances, wondering what was wrong with him.
Bassey went straight to his room, got out of his clothes and locked himself in the bathroom. He came out an hour later, clad in his boxers, and went straight to bed. He had no appetite. Food was the farthest thing from his turmoil mind. His encounter with Lovejoy and Stephen had been a bad experience. He turned on his side and reached out for his phone. He went through his phone book list and placed his younger brother and sister on a conference call.
“Hello…”
“Hello… Bros you no dey sleep at all?” he heard his younger brother’s voice.
“It is almost midnight for heaven’s sake,” his younger sister complained.
“Shut up, shut up, see this children wey they born yesterday.”
He heard them laughing. Their voices soothed his aching heart.
“When was the last time bros called like this?” Imabong asked.
“That time now,” Eno responded.
“Oh okay, Lovejoy matter,” Imabong whistled.
“Serious matter o,” Eno chimed in.
He listened to their chit-chat and sighed, “I met her today.”
“What?!” Eno exclaimed.
“Who?” Imabong wasn’t sure he heard him clearly.
“Lovejoy now,” his sister answered quickly.
“Ehn-hen… where?” Imabong’s curiousity accelerated.
“She is…” her face flashed through his mind’s eye, “She is getting married to Stephen next month.”
“Wow! She didn’t waste time,” Eno sounded disappointed.
“Which Stephen?” Imabong asked.
“Stephen Edet,” Bassey replied.
There was a moment’s silence.
“Stephen Akpos Edet!” his siblings chorused.
He could discern their surprised state in their voices, “Yes, my childhood friend.”
“This is unbelievable!” Imabong hissed.
“He planned it. He told her something false about me and she called off the wedding.”
“This girl is dumber than I thought,” Eno hissed.
“Why didn’t she ask you?” Imabong felt angered.
“She just believed your friend like that,” Eno hissed again.
“Na so I see am o,” Bassey sighed heavily.
“I can still remember how her parents rained insult on us and called us unprintable names the day we went to their place,” Eno sounded sad.
“What did he tell her sef?” Imabong’s voice was laced with gloom.
“He convinced her with a fake doctor’s report that I was sterile.”
“Eh! See gbege,” Eno cried out.
“Sharp guy. That your friend messed up. See lie,” Imabong felt distressed.
“Lie from the pit of hell,” his sister added. “I will let dad and mum know.”
“Thanks Eno.”
“Come to think of it, bros you dey sterile?” his younger brother asked.
“Imabong!” they chorused.
“What? I supposed ask now.”
“Where did Stephen get a fake doctor’s report?” Eno wanted to know.
“Beats me,” Bassey couldn’t imagine the length at which his friend went to deceive his ex.
“Bros sorry o.”
“Hang in there.”
“Thanks.”
“Should I come over after work tomorrow?” his sister asked quickly.
He frowned, “No, no, no, Eno thanks. I am fine.”
“Are you sure?”
“I said I am fine.”
Imabong’s laughter rang in their ears, “Eno won go clear bros kitchen. Ah… Eno, na wa for you o.”
“Shaarap there.”
“Have a blessed night you two.”
“Goodnight bros,” they chorused.
He hung up and lay on his back. He felt relieved after talking with them. It was therapeutic. His parents would be so disappointed at Stephen. At least, they would know why Lovejoy called off the wedding. He closed his eyes and said a prayer. He lay all that concerned him at God’s feet.
Watch out for part 4
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